Letting Go

The last weekend of April, we took our youth group to my alma mater, Taylor University, for the annual Youth Conference. Taylor was my alma mater and I love being back there. It's like visiting an old friend even though most of my good college friends are no longer there.

We left on Friday afternoon just as Chicago rush hour began. I drove my own car and the rest of the youth counselors and the kids went on a school bus. We needed my car so we could drive around off-campus (for those of you who know Taylor, you know it's in rural Indiana in the middle of nowhere) and in case of emergency. While I liked driving on my own and in the comfort of my own car, I also felt like I was missing out on bonding with the kids on the bus.

Since they were in a school bus, I got to Taylor about an hour before the bus did. When they finally arrived, I was pretty excited to see them. I passed out all the registration packets and some of our kids small group leaders (Taylor students) came out to meet our kids since they missed the first main session and the first small group session. All of a sudden, our group was completely split up and the Taylor leaders just took our kids away to their dorms and planned on meeting them for breakfast (last year the kids usually ate with us). The kids that I was ready to share Youth Conference with were suddenly taken away from me. Later that night I told Tiffany (the other female youth counselor), "It's like they stole our kids!"

I felt like these were the youth I've been working with and that I'm impacting through my ministry. So part of me was a little disappointed and for most of the weekend, I felt like I was supposed to be doing something with our kids and trying to build deeper relationships with them--after all, isn't that what you do on retreats?

But throughout the weekend, God showed me that the teens in our youth group are not my kids, they're His children. The conference speaker, the amazing Jeremy Kingsley, shared an image that stuck with me. He mentioned how the Bible says God can hold the oceans in the crevice of his palm (like that part of your hand that forms when you cup it). Then he had us imagine what it would be like if some guys were playing frisbee at the beach and all of a sudden a giant hand reached down and just scooped up the ocean. We'd say, "Wow--that's a big hand."

And isn't that true? I was struck by the idea of God's hands. His hands are so much bigger than my own and wouldn't I rather have our youth group be in the safety of God's hands rather than my own feeble ones? Really it's my own pride that kept me thinking that I'm the one who makes a difference in the lives of these teenagers--only God can change and transform hearts.

So while I felt as though our youth group had been taken away from us at Youth Conference, as I heard the stories and excitement of how God was working in the lives of our girls (during the short time Tiffany and I got to spend with them in the dorm on Saturday night) and saw how the majority of our 21 students went forward on Saturday night saying they wanted to lay down their pride and humble themselves before the Lord, I knew that it's God who does work--not me.

God used Taylor small group leaders, Jeremy Kingsley, and, of course, the work we've been doing with the youth group over the past few years, but all those things were to further His purpose in the teens' lives. So I'm learning to let go--I don't need to be in control of everything that goes on in this youth group because I know Someone greater holds it all in His nail-pierced hands.

What's something you need to let go of and entrust to God?

Recycling. So Easy, a Pug Can Do It

Happy Earth Day!!

In honor of the 40th anniversary of Earth Day, check out this video of a "green" pug. Then go out and do one of the things this pug can do.

Romans 1:20 (NLT) says, "Ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God." If God's creation is a testament to his existence, we must do a better job of taking care of it.

I've also started bringing a reusable mug to Starbucks now to get my coffee. Not only do I get 10 cents off every time, but I'm also saving trees!

What do you do to care for God's creation?

Don't Leave Jesus in the Grave

Easter weekend has come and gone, but the words of our pastor from last week's Good Friday service are echoing in my head:

"Don't leave Jesus in the grave! Come back on Sunday!"

That statement was pretty humorous, and one of my friend's in particular (he's getting his MDiv right now) found it hilarious, but as I thought about that first part -- "Don't leave Jesus in the grave" -- the more I realized the statement doesn't just apply to the time between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. As believers in Christ's resurrection, we should live our lives in a way that shows we really believe that He's alive.

I shouldn't want to continue living a life marked by sin because I know that because of Christ's death on the cross and His resurrection, I am now a saint. I am holy and blameless in God's sight. If I continue doing things I know are sinful, then Jesus' sacrifice is in vain. It's almost like saying, "I know you died on the cross for me and rose again, but it doesn't matter. I still want to do what I want to do even though I know it's not good for me." This kind of attitude doesn't truly understand what it means to have a resurrected Lord. In essence, it's telling Jesus that He's still in the grave to me. He's not a Savior because I still see myself as a sinner.

But Jesus conquered death! He's no longer in the grave--He's alive! He conquered sin so that I would no longer be held by its bondage. I want to be committed to living a life that reflects this Truth. I don't want to live as if Jesus is still in the grave. Do you?



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Shamrock Shuffle 8k Race Recap

Last Sunday, March 21, I ran the Bank of America Shamrock Shuffle 8k (4.9 miles) in downtown Chicago. This was my longest race to date and my longest running distance ever! I've never run more than 5 miles in a row (though I have been training with 6 1-mile repeats in the same session).

I ran the race with four other people from my church as part of Team World Vision to raise money for Haiti earthquake relief. We raised nearly $1,500.00 altogether so far! There's still time to donate if you'd like to participate. Thanks to everyone already who supported us!

None of the runners from my group had actually run 5 miles before (except Boyi since she's on the cross country team at her high school). It was kind of funny because our group included me, who has been training for races (triathlon & 5k) since last May; Tiffany, who started seriously training for this 8k a little over a month before the race; Josh, who apparently had been training for a while and running 5 miles every weekend; Boyi, who did cross country in the fall, but had to start running again to train for this race; and Craig, who didn't really train at all (he played basketball and then ran a little less than 4 miles with us the other day--we were doing 5--and was still really sore from it the day of the race).

Josh and Craig pre-race.

The girls: Tiffany, Boyi, and me before heading down to Grant Park. Tiffany and I made our team shirts. They say, "Everyone loves a Shamrock Shuffler." The Team World Vision logo's on the sleeve and our names are on the back.

Weather on race day was cloudy, windy, and around 30-something degrees. At least there wasn't any snow on the ground (it snowed the day before), but it was still a little wet. We got down to the race site at about 8:15 AM. Luckily Josh's apartment (our homebase) was a really short walk to Grant Park. So Tiffany and I checked our gear and then we headed over to the Team World Vision tent for a group picture (which I'm somehow trying to get a copy of). Then we tried to warm up a little (for the race and just because we were cold) while we headed over to the start corrals. None of us did this race before so we were all in the open corral. We seeded ourselves in the 9-minute mile group (which was the first one after corral C). Then we stretched and waited.

The race started at 9 AM for the elite runners (of which we are not) so by the time we got to the starting line it was nearly 9:30 (and the elite runners had already finished the race...haha). But it was pretty exciting starting out and running under a bridge with people cheering for you above it. I've raced in the city a couple times before (Chicago SuperSprint Triathlon and Santa Shuffle 5k), but none of them were actually running through the city streets. That was a new and fun experience for me.

So the first couple miles were mostly just dodging people and trying to pass them up (and trying to run carefully over a slippery bridge, jumping up onto the sidewalk then having to run up a short flight of stairs to get to the upper sidewalk, jumping back down into the street...). Tiffany, Boyi, and I stayed together for the first 2 miles. At the first mile marker, Tiffany asked me what our time was and I looked at my watch and said, "8:30...we're so slow!" Okay, so maybe we weren't that slow, but normally in races I tend to run my first mile faster than normal so I guess I was just surprised.

There were a lot of people throughout the entire race though, so it was generally still "crowded." The site says 36,000 people signed up though I know some of them didn't come because of the weather (which actually wasn't that bad for the race). I picked up my pace between miles 2 and 3 and lost Tiffany and Boyi somewhere behind me (though apparently Tiffany could still see me & follow me until after mile 3). So I just kept trying to run and keep a decent pace. It's kind of like a game. You pick someone, then you try to pass them. Then once you pass that person, you pick another person and try to pass him or her. I was getting tired by mile 4 though, but I knew it was almost over so I just kept pushing through. Luckily my knee wasn't hurting me during the race. I was concerned about that so I had my knee brace just in case but decided I didn't need it.

The worst part about the course was the slight hill right at the end (Roosevelt Rd.). I thought that's where I could push myself a little more to the finish line, but by the time I got up the hill, I was even more tired. So I tried to sprint a little bit toward the finish (which was still kinda far away), but had to slow down in the middle, and tried to push toward those last few meters to the finish line. I did it though!! Everyone in my group finished. The picture to the left is our post-race group pic. I finished in 0:42:35; 5,781 out of 25,567 finishers; and 528 out of 4,000-something women in my age group (I don't feel like looking up the exact number right now.) So not too bad for my first 8k. My eventual running goal right now is to continue building my mileage so I can run a half marathon (not this year) and as part of my triathlon training. I also want to improve my 5k speed so I'm under 25 minutes (or maybe even under 24!).

What are your running goals? Any race tips for me for the future? I'm still a newbie. :)

Whirlwind.

I wrote this post Sunday night, but I'm finally able to post it up.

Whirlwind. That’s the way I would describe my weekend. I just spent my entire weekend with my church youth group and now I’m writing this as I’m on a plane to Nashville for the National Religious Broadcasters Convention. I must say that I love flying at night. I love seeing the tiny city lights and right now the sun is setting and the view out the window is just breathtaking. It’s like a sea of clouds and just on one side of the plane I can see the horizon and the beautiful orange, pink, and blue hues of the sun. Then on the other side of the plane, there’s the moon--a single light in the midst of clouds. It reminds me of just how small my corner or the world and my life is compared to the greatness of the Earth and all God created. All I can say is, “WOW.”

This past weekend was another example of God’s greatness and glory. Our youth group participated in World Vision’s 30 Hour Famine from 12 noon on Friday until 6 p.m. on Saturday. The entire week leading up to the famine I’ve been stressed more than usual. There have been so many events and activities going on and I’ve just been overwhelmed with planning it all. I felt so unprepared going in to the famine this year compared with last year. It was almost like the event just snuck up on me. 

Of course, the 30 Hour Famine is more than just an event. It’s our way of helping see people the way God sees them and to share God’s love with those in need around the world by raising money to help feed children for which hunger is not a choice. Despite my feelings of unpreparedness and everything that seemed to go wrong Friday night (our projector didn’t work, one youth counselor lost her voice during worship for the remainder of the weekend, we were way behind schedule, etc.), God was working in the midst of it all. 

We had some meaningful conversations with some of the teens, built fellowship with one another, had great insights during our Bible studies, and were encouraged by the testimonies shared at the end of the famine. One girl said the famine helped “reconnect her with God,” which brought tears to my eyes. Just knowing that young lives were being transformed through our time together this weekend makes it all worth it. No amount of planning or preparedness can change what God is already doing in hearts. 

So even though I’m completely exhausted physically (only running on about 11.5 hours of sleep for the entire weekend), my spirit is refreshed. This weekend God made it so everything else I had to do was on hold and all I did was focus my attention toward him and toward the teens he loves. I love our teens and I’m already looking forward to spending more time with them and investing more deeply in their lives. I can’t wait to see what God will continue to do in our group and at the upcoming Youth Conference in April. As I drove home from the famine last night at 8 p.m., I thought, “Youth ministry sure takes a lot of time.” There’s no doubt in my mind, though, that it was time well-spent. 

I care. And so I run.

For the short time that I've been running semi-competitively (aka. competing in 5k races), each new race was mainly a competition against myself, trying to run faster and to improve from the previous race.

A couple weeks ago, I sort of spontaneously registered for the Shamrock Shuffle 8k (March 21, 2010) with a few other people from my church. This time I'm running with more of a purpose. We joined Team World Vision to raise money for Haiti earthquake relief as part of this race.

The four of us from the left of the picture are all racing again in the Shamrock Shuffle (plus one of our youth group members too!)

So the challenges of this race for me are twofold:

1. It's the longest distance I've ever run (4.9 miles). I'm gradually trying to increase my endurance and distance over these next few weeks of training. I ran 4 miles last week, so I'll get there, but my goal is to just finish and not worry about my time.
2. To raise at least $200 as a team for Haiti. Right now we're at $130, but I really think we can go above and beyond our $200 goal if we all kick up our fundraising efforts a few notches.

Will you consider sponsoring us in this race to raise money for World Vision and Haiti? You can donate to our Salt 'N' Light Team or you can donate to me (but I've already reached my personal fundraising goal, so I'd encourage you to donate to the team first).

If you have questions about donations or the race, feel free to contact me. If you can't sponsor us financially, consider coming out to watch the race on March 21 (if you're in Chicago) or at least be praying for us as we train and run!

Once a Pug, Always a Pug

Tomorrow marks exactly six months after our first and precious pug, Jasmine AnnMarie (left), went to doggie heaven.

Losing Jasmine was like losing a family member of our family. She lived with us for 16.5 years so I basically grew up with her. Jasmine was at my college graduation (literally...sort of. She was staying at my college house while we went to the ceremony), she comforted me when I cried, she brought so much joy and laughter to our home, and she was the subject of many of our family prayer times.  Those six months of being pugless felt like so much longer! Those who have dogs understand that life just isn't the same without them.

This past Saturday, though, our family welcomed our new baby, Lexie Madison (right)! What a joy it is to have another pug in our lives! Lexie has been adjusting well to her new home and has already proven herself to be smart. She learned "sit" in two days (though she still needs some practice)!

At times I've felt a little sad because now I want to change my laptop background and phone background from Jasmine to Lexie. I almost feel bad because it seems like I'm pushing Jasmine aside and paying all this attention to our new puppy. I realize this is partially true, but I also know that Jasmine would probably tell Lexie what a great family she has now. Many people get excited about their dogs when they're puppies and when they're new and then get tired of the daily care for the dog. Not so in our family! We always loved spending time with the pug or just having Jasmine around. Although all us kids won't be home much longer, I know Lexie will be well-cared for by my parents.

Jasmine, though you're no longer physically with us, you will never be forgotten. All our great pug memories are from you and we wouldn't have gotten Lexie if we hadn't enjoyed the past 16.5 years you gave us. We'll never get another breed of dog. Lexie, we'll try not to compare you to Jasmine. I know you've already proven yourself to be unique and we love you too!

Our family never expected to get another pug so soon, but that's the way it worked out. I'm excited to see what other great things God has in store for 2010!

Jasmine loved sleeping. Lexie may be the same way.

Dog (or animal) lovers! Do you have any dog stories to share?